i was very young when my father committed suicide. after his death my mother and i lived a vagabondish life. we didn´t really had a place i would have called home. we had all our possessions in her car and we would go around asking her friends to stay over, sometimes for a night, sometimes for a month or longer.
at a certain point my mother took me on a trip to turkey in her car for some vacation. i cant remember it so well anymore but i remember it was the first vacation i was allowed to take pictures with her camera. one of the first pictures i ever took was my mother sleeping in the car. she looked so perfect to me.
i remember that at this moment she symbolised every idealistic feeling i had about a women.
i never believed that my father was dead when i was a child. back then, i promised myself that as soon as i will grow up. i will search the world to find him.