sunday

i loved many times in my life but only in my last relationship i really gave my heart away and had the wish to start a family.

now its such a strange feeling to know that he moved on and gave his heart to a new love. its a concept i can hardly understand and i spend much time thinking about it... although i understand... it feels like something i still need to learn.

love erupts like an earthquake and then subsides and when it subsides you have to make a decision. you have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. because this is what love is.

today was a very special day - it started with the shape of a crab, two gallery shows and some wanders and boys talks in hyde park.

it ended on the rooftop of my hungarian friends who just newly moved. maybe one of the nicest flats i have seen so far in london.

they invited me to eat lecso with them. hungarian lecso (LEH-choh) is a vegetable stew that combines three of hungary´s favorite ingredients -- peppers, tomatoes and paprika. lecso can be served variously as a vegetable side dish, appetizer or the main meal itself. it's similar to Serbian djuvece and Russian letcho.

we ate, danced and drunk on the rooftop until the night has fallen. it makes me happy and feel very free to be above the city and to see all the lights shining there so pretty and to think of the millions of lives going on at this present moment and those come and gone. it makes me float free to feel how small my life must be.

a strong wind was blowing around us while we danced and danced and danced. it was wonderful. really.

yes yes it was like the wind has taken my memories of the past away.

adam said to me : its quite a happy moment for us

and yes i agree what a happy moment!

rooftops are great - we planed a sleep over rooftop party with 3 kingsize inflatable beds on wednesday. i cant wait!